Annual 9 - Ten Things

10 Things I Hate About Brady Langemo

These are in no particular order.


1. The fact that he brings up the failed 5k. What about the d-bag tournament? That was a success and all the work was done by me for that. Including the Sweet 16 on the refrigerator.
2. You won’t let me be your best friend. Yes I have Krebs but I have no woman. So I can handle being the best friends of two people. Besides, doritos will always be Krebs’ real best friend.
3. Your ultimate love for Duke has done nothing but cursed them for the past 5+ years. God is just waiting to see if you will really harm yourself when he causes them to lose every year.
4. Your overuse of me and needing vagisil. One of these years, someone will bring vagisil, and I will put some in your beer. And then you will be pooing on a plate like Stuart Haugen.
5. Making fun of me texting. Don’t you understand it is easier to deal with rejection of many women via text than in person or on the phone? No you wouldn’t understand that. You’ve slept with 1 ½ people.
6. The Century Club at the Annual. It was the worst idea ever at the Annual (aside from Tina (twice), Stuart’s roommate, Denim Dan, 4 Million Dollar Man, Neva and his woman, Korean Cowboy, Sticky Buns and Doug). Here’s a fact. No one made the 100 shots. A bunch of people cheated. And the rest of us puked. And one of us (Krebs) puked beer on the table.
7. The fact that you won’t claim Derek as your BFF. Krebs and I. Cody and Steve. That leaves you and Derek. And wouldn’t Derek and Stuart as best friends be a sight. I can only imagine the pain in the 7 seconds of phone conversation. That is if Derek answers the phone.
8. You talk about Jack Savage. Give it a rest. The guy is a loser. I think you have a man crush on him. I think you would like to do sick things to him and wake up in your flannel pants the next morning and make him breakfast and a bloody mary.
9. Jeff Brandt and Dawson’s Creek. These two things are equally dumb in my mind. Dawson’s Creek is a worthless show to begin with. But much more worthless because you love it. Jeff Brandt is not your friend. But in your mind, he’s right up there with Travis Hanson and Dan Swift.
10. My lack of credit for being your first friend to visit your new house and to help you move into your apartment when you moved here from Virginia. And your crappy fantasy football team the past two seasons. Seriously, Phil Zimpel has been more successful than you.



10 Things I Hate About Cody Norman.

1. Everyone likes him. Seriously, what is with that?
2. Cody is 100% responsible for the failure of the Mayville State football program. If only he would have accepted that scholarship (what was it, like $1500?) they offered his last year. I'm sure with him getting the pushing done up front (like Derek in a mosh-pit at a Miley Cyrus concert) the Comets would have won 6 games.
3. He has two first names.
4. Windsor. Honestly, what kind of vag cannot handle a little bit of Windsor. Maybe you are the one who needs the vagasil.
5. You slept with the blowup chick at the Annual when you know that I called dibs.
6. Some how you convinced me to go with you on a early morning drive at Preston's bachelor party. I passed out hardcore in the middle of it and when I woke up my pants were unbuckled. Ok so the last part was a lie, but seriously....
7. The fact that you are way better at sweating than me. I totally wanted to be the sweaty guy at Beneda's wedding, but NOOO Cody had to be "that guy."
8. For some reason you enjoy calling Virginia the "The State of Lovers," when everyone knows it is "Virginia is for Lovers."
9. Skipping my wedding. Seriously, it was only like 1300 miles away.
10. You won't be at Annual 9.


10 Things I Hate About Steve McMullen

1. He never once visited me when we were 1/2 a block away from each other in mayville. I aways had to go to his place....the supposed reason why he never came over brings me to #2
2. Never told me how truly stinky my couch was...no wonder I never got chicks that year...bro's before smelly couches.
3. Erin Larson
4. Blake tried to sit on Vince...already teaching him how to pin a Krebs.
5. Making fun of me for trying to read Trivial persuit 90's edition questions.
6. Countless honeymooners
7. Still have mosquito bites on my body from watching the worst fireworks on the last fourth of July
8. Friends with Kelly Cota
9. Scaring the poop out of me on at least 3 occasions twice at Adams and once on a plane by getting seizures.
10. Thinks coldplay gives him ear aches.


Disappointed at the lack of email leading up to the Annual. I know derek and brady have alot of randomness in their heads. the only excuse for not emailing is if your getting head. And that wouldn't be an excuse that Koozer could use.

10 Things I Hate About Derek Aus

1. Never once tried to hook me up with one of his sisters.
2. Could wear 13 t-shirts at once and is still skinnier then I am.
3. Is secretly in love with the twins because they are everything that is right about baseball but will "claim" that he hates them until the day he dies.
4. Wears way to many bracelets...and can totally pull it off.
5. Has never met vince yet.
6. Never comes to Vegas when Joe and I always ask him to go.
7. Would pee on Kirby Pucketts grave if he could.
8. Didnt try to sleep with Doodle at Brady's wedding
9. Tried to sleep with michelle at Brady's wedding.
10. So likable, that i had to make up the last one.



10 Things I Hate About Matt Krebs
1. The fact that you didn't sleep with Jess with a kid.
2. The things you find funny that no one else on earth finds funny (Those dumb commercials you showed me and Steve on youtube. The Beaver. Army of Darkness).
3. Christina Dudgeon
4. Jody Schroeder
5. Katie 'VD' Thompson
6. Michelle's friends (They are your fault)
7. Because you made out with Amber (Jen Loken's friend) over and over and over again.
8. The fact that you can't keep a conversation going when tv or radio are on or when there are bright, pretty colors to look at.
9. Your olive oil shaving parties with Kelly Cota.
10. You conjuring "kitty" style.


10 Things I Hate About Joe "Thunder" Neuenfeldt:

1. Starts to bitch anytime you talk about kids or any kind of happiness.
2. Thinks he is a combination of Steve Prefontaine, Lance Armstrong, and Michael Phelps.
3. Can grow hair on top of his head.
4. Spent $600 of his hard earned money on allergy shots for his pet.
5. Only visits me if he is able to spend time with his elderly friends (the Redmonds) also.
6. Elected to live with Kelly Cota instead of Cody, Preston, and me. Do you regret that?
7. Exposed his friends to Amanda Moen. We could have done without that. Although, maybe Preston thinks otherwise.
8. Threw a party at The Barn without permission from us. Thanks for fueling that fire Cody.
9. City boy attitude.
10. He now gets laid more than any of us.

Oh wow…the Mahnomen Indian reservation must have just recently gotten hooked up to the internet. Good to hear from you steven. And people think I’m bad for my lack of contact. Everyone’s taken and I don’t really actually know anyone else that these emails go to, so in honor of thee 9th ANNUAL (and some attendees having 9 fingers), I give you the



9 things I hate about the twins



1) Being cheap and playing in a weak division does not make you respectable or give you the title of “everything that is still right with baseball”. The twins are juiced just like everyone else…..example: kent hrbek

2) Goddamn kirbie pucket ….and no I will not be capitalizing his name and I could care less on the correct tori spelling. I was gonna try to hold off with him til the #9….the finale, but I can’t hold it in. Yes, he caught a routine fly ball at the warning track during one game and homered in another. Guess what. So did adam dunn. So basically he is a glaucoma test away from the hall of fame

3) Can’t stand the nickname. I loved the olsen twins just like everyone else, but I can’t stand a team being called the twins. And people call them the twinkies sometimes. That isn’t better…..its gayer. Remember those beer commercials (maybe coors light) with the “i….love…..football in the dirt…..yada yada…..”and the twwwwiiiiiins” and two smoking hot twins are on the screen?? Yeah, the Minnesota twins wrecked those commercials for me.

4) So this is not the case the last couple of years as some have put up some numbers, but I absolutely hate it when the twins get their ETHTBR all-star pick thats “every team has to be represented” its bullshit. And they robbed someone of their spot for like 10 straight years. Let’s think, did matt Lawton really need to be there???

5) Every one of my little baseball players worship them, so I overdose on the twins all summer. I have actually thrown at peewee baseball players during batting practice who step into the box, dig in, and go “oh, I’m gonna hit just like mauer last night” I’ve plunked quite a few who think its cool to like them…..i’m rob dibble….don’t mess with me.

6) I spell gardy with a capital P O S tom Kelly was one too. And Boof bonser.. did he actually change his name to that??.....on purpose?? I don’t mind unique names……kimbo slice…love it. Boof?? That’s the exact noise that gay sex makes. Not a coincidence.

7) I’m sick of bert blyleven bitchin about the hall of fame. All he would have to do is say he wants in as an announcer and he might have a resume in my opinion. As a player, no. but as an announcer, he cussed like krogstad on live tv ….entertaining. he brought us circle-me-bert…..a positive addition. I at least think he has a case as a commentator.

8) I hate every one of them fags on their world series teams. Jack Norris….frank vialota….shane rack….fag gagne…. All of em. Although I have less hatred for scott leius and scott Erickson.

9) The twins are a cult. Just like harry potter. And just like that stupid twilight book/movie that is out now. They get em into the organization, and they don’t ever let them leave, and they just convince them that they can’t go anywhere else, so they never have to actually pay anyone. It’s a cult….thats all….and you guys are all part of it.



And I’m about to get 11 “can’t be delivered” emails back cause I didn’t watch my language.




Since coming up with things I hate is too easy for Preston, let’s change it up a little.

10 Things I Love About Preston Schwegel



1. The fact that you fooled around with Amanda. I couldn’t care less then or now.
2. Shaka laka motha fucka
3. Your boxers the first semester of basketball at Mayville. We were good when you wore them. Then we sucked when they were thrown out. And when Krebs became eligible.
4. Mornings at the Schwegel ranch when they are all trying to get ready for church.
5. Dookie love. It’s a song. And if you haven’t heard it, you are missing out.
6. Cody’s wedding. You were a phenomenal disaster for that entire thing.
7. The Butte wedding dance.
8. Your black man hair.
9. The first thing Greg Ash ever asked you. “What kinda car you got?”
10. The Matt Swift incident in Devils Lake.


10 Things I Hate about Annual Go-ers


1. Preston, you get stuck in people yards, after 5 inches of rain, and you have my MVP
2. Brady, I hate the way your lose your voice, and get a semi over christian leattner
3. Derek, When you sit at the top of the ladder for 3 hours, and get a semi over Doc Gooden
4. Krebs, They way you always get to pocket the ncaa bracket money
5. Joe, That you have a photographic annual memory.
6. Steve, That you can not drink and have just as much fun as anybody
7. Adam, That I am not the biggest UNC fan there.
8. Stuart, When you bring baby dogs to shit and piss all over the cabin
9. Cody, the way you arent coming just because of having a kid
10. Justy, That your not coming because you are doing something better than all of us

Everybody else didnt quite crack my top 10. I hope I get to hate some things about you too in this annual and the annuals to come.

Just 3 days away from jag bombs



10 Things I Love About "The Founder"

1. Because of you there is an Annual.
2. That although you are a UNCrap Fan (SUCK), you are a true Carolina fan. Not just a "I cheer for them because MJ went there, and they have all the most athletic players, and I like their colors."
3. Even though you are a UNCunt fan you are wise enough to respect other college basketball programs and players.
4. You are a member of the wonderful fall 2000 Freshman class at Mayville State University (2nd floor of the dorm no less).
5. Managed to live in the same room as G.Ash without contemplating ending your life.
6. You belong to the sacred sect of Mayville State Football players. Also a possible reason for hating you, but it makes me laugh.
7. You store "The Jackets" in a tote all year so when we put them on (FRIDAY NIGHT !!!!) they will smell exactly like the Sunday of last years Annual.
8. For encouraging us to watch that Tim Allen comedy tape (Tim Allen: Men are Pigs??) and making Derek want to tear his Dwight Gooden cocaine sniffing years off (yeah...he even used his ears to do it).
9. You are always drunk at the Annual, but sober enough to make us a wonderful Saturday morning breakfast.
10. All the planning and work you put into getting things ready for the Annual, and you probably rarely ever get enough money back to compensate you.

BONUS material!

Individual Things I hate about some people who haven't responded
VOX: You talk all big about how you are going to send out an email...and then you never do. Plus thanks to you I know what the word Emoticon means ;-\
KYLE: Even though you are flying to MN to attend the Annual, you can't take a minute out of your day to send another email?
BUCK: You have the same name as the worst MN Twin ever. Also...where are your emails? Don't play the race card either.
TL52: It appears as if you are all talk. Are you coming or what? Where did you go?

Disclaimer...I believe everyone has been sending the emails to "FireGuy's" school email and thus having them be blocked. He better now read everything below and respond.

THIS EMAIL WAS SPELL CHECKED BY THUNDER, AND THEN RE-CHECKED BY PRESTON & SBERK.



10 Things I hate About "Intruders" at the Annual:

1. 4 million dollar man trying to hook up with Adam.
2. Blueberry for eating all of our food.
3. Denim Dan calling us pussies at 4 a.m. after we had been drinking for 16 straight hours. Then him being the pussy when we told him to shut up or get his ass kicked.
4. Sticky Buns for rolling her sleeves and trying to take over P&A.
5. The Korean Cowboy (need I say more).
6. The girl that wore a bikini and distracted Brady all night. We have proof.
7. Stuarts downer "roomate" that didn't talk to anyone. And left half way through the weekend. Joe you should have been nicer to her when she came in.
8. D.S. (Preston's O' Girl) It was real fun to listen to her talk, especially when she got really emotinal when she drank.
9. Doug for reving up his truck, for not contributing anything, and most of all being a major D-Bag.
10. All of the people that came and went and never paid a dime nor said Thank You to the Nelsons. I say you collect at the door for potential D-Bags. Annual IX cover charge.

Annual 8

Well Fellas it's that time of year again, time for the greatest, most awe-inspiring, majestic, wondrous, terrific, grand, incredible, impressive, magnificent, mind-blowing weekend of the year. Yes that is right it is time for "The Annual." For those of you who have not been counting at home it is actually Ocho Annual. And for all you morons out there ocho = eight
(I think...I took French...not Spanish).

Most of you have now wet your pants with excitement because you have experienced "The Annual" before and understand how wonderful it is. Then there are some of you who are allergic to fun (Travis Nelson, Matt Beneda, Ross Hammer"ed" Carrie Baier, Andy Lindstrom & Mitch Deere) and came once and never returned. And still there are others who have never attended do
to lack of ability to contact you or because you think there are better things to do, which there aren't (Travis Lindgren). I will now try to explain "The Annual" for those who are not familiar with it.

Kegs, drinking, Cabin, drinking, Liquor, drinking, Final Four on TV, drinking. Besides this it provides a great chance to relive all your Mayville glory days or continue to complain about a certain coach who had no idea what he was doing and always screwed players over the second year they were there. Even better than this we somehow find time to get drunk and create new story to relive (Andy I don't care who swears by it, no one else wants to eat-out a girls ass). So that is my "Annual" summary.

So here is the first official "Annual" email of 2008. I hope to get a plethora of responses to this ASAP. I truly am ashamed of myself for not sending out mass-emails earlier. I am also very disappointed in all the other past MVPs for not stepping up to the plate to get the ball rolling. Steve I know you are preoccupied and I give you a pass for that. But everyone else needs to get off of their lazy, chip eating(Krebs), high school girl watching (Derek), junior high school girl stalking (Preston), baby making (Adam & Steve), bulimic (Joe), Albino baseball playing (Hills),
getting a fat ass because all I do is golf (Lindy), four fingered (no need for name), Jen Lokin loving (Stuart), chuck knoblauch loving asses and take part in some conversation. "The Annual" is only 43 days away so let's get on with it. I now will sign off.

A Former MVP,

Brady Langemo

P.S.
If you are a dipshit and didn't figure it out this email invites you to "The Annual." Not that invitations are needed (yet).

P.P.S.
I expect an email from "THE FOUNDER" soon.

P.P.P.S.
Where in the hell is the "Top 10 Reasons the Annual Can't Get Here any
Quicker" email Thunder?

P.P.P.P.S.
Do you realize if Hills & Whitey both come we will have two albinos at "The Annual." That's almost as crazy as the year we had to Asians.

P.P.P.P.P.S.
For all those dicks who didn't come to Virginia in October, I am married and you missed a pretty decent party if I do say so myself. Derek slept next to a girl (OMG, LOL, BRB, KEWL).

This years "Jackets"

As of next weekend our house will be sold,  during the move I came across my old letterman jacket and that got me thinking that instead of just retiring these to the closet for the rest of their lives its time to break them out for The Annual.   So it is my suggestion that if you own a letterman jacket we should definitely wear them to this years Annual. 

Krebs

Seeing how this works

Just thought I'd check and see if I understood how this complicated process works. In case you didn't already know I was at the Duke game on Sunday. Steve saw Frannie & I on TV. We were the people wearing blue & white. If this works and gets posted I'll contemplate posting pictures in the near future. Buckle up boys the Annual is less than 3 months away.

Brady

What up players

So are we allowed to bring homosexual people to the annual????

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Date of the Annual

For those of you who don't know or don't remember, Andy, the annual is on April 5th - 7th. This is set to coincide with Final Four weekend, and not with the coming of Mac McMullen. If it does we will have to figure something out. Look for this site to have up coming posts, such as Top 10 reasons why the annual can get here soon enough.

Beer Me